In the Twenty-Twenty World Cup, post match presentation....
Ravi Shastri to Dhoni : "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni : "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri: "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni: "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri: "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni: "Yeah.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri: "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni: "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri: "Is it? ?.... how the doctor helped to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni. . I am getting confused!"
Dhoni: "Ravi... nothing to get confused... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test and so we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri: "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni: "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri: "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much respect for the seniors....and you ...."
Dhoni interrupts: .. "Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.."
Shastri: "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni: "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has costed the game and won the cup..." Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP.
Showing posts with label Cricket SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cricket SMS. Show all posts
Monday, August 2, 2010
you have two sides one out in
You have two sides one out in the field and one in .
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out .
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out .
Sometimes you get men still in and not out .
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs , THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME !
HOWZAT !!!!!
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out .
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out .
Sometimes you get men still in and not out .
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs , THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME !
HOWZAT !!!!!
Monday, December 14, 2009
James ormond had just come out
James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark
Waugh??..
Mark Waugh : ?F*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there?s no way you?re good enough to play for England?
James Ormond : ?Maybe not, but at least i?m the best player in my family?
Waugh??..
Mark Waugh : ?F*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there?s no way you?re good enough to play for England?
James Ormond : ?Maybe not, but at least i?m the best player in my family?
cricket poem kambli the mystery
With apologies to Kambli, T.S. Eliot, Macavity and other feline
friends..
"Kambli - The Mystery Bat"
--------------------------
Kambli is the mystery bat,
he's the new southpaw
for he is the master batsman,
who can defy the law.
he's the bafflement of England,
the Sri Lankan's despair.
but when they need the runs abroad,
Kambli's not there!
Kambli, Kambli, there's no one like Kambli
he's broken every batting law,
his backlift defies gravity
His craving for tons,
would make Gavaskar stare
but when pace rips us apart,
Kambli's not there!
You may seek him for style,
you may search him for flair,
But I tell you once and once again,
Kambli's not there!
Kambli is not a ginger bat,
not too tall or thin,
you'd know him, if you saw him,
goldchains, he's draped in.
his eyes are deeply browed in thought,
(probably they are loaned)
his bat is covered with dust from neglect,
his hair is uncombed.
he sways his head from side to side,
movements like a snake,
and when the trundlers think he's fast asleep,
Kambli is wide awake!
Kambli, Kambli there is no one quite like Kambli,
he is a fiend, a monster of mediocrity,
you may meet him in record books,
you may see him in the square,
but when a crisis is discovered
Kambli's not there!
When the runs are needed quick,
or the bowlers get on top,
when India needs to save a test,
or when a win hangs by the hair,
that's the wonder of the whole thing -
Kambli's not there!
Kambli Kambli there is no like Kambli,
he's a genius, a monster of tenacity.
You may meet him in the record books,
you may see him in the square
but when a crisis is discovered,
Kambli's never there!
friends..
"Kambli - The Mystery Bat"
--------------------------
Kambli is the mystery bat,
he's the new southpaw
for he is the master batsman,
who can defy the law.
he's the bafflement of England,
the Sri Lankan's despair.
but when they need the runs abroad,
Kambli's not there!
Kambli, Kambli, there's no one like Kambli
he's broken every batting law,
his backlift defies gravity
His craving for tons,
would make Gavaskar stare
but when pace rips us apart,
Kambli's not there!
You may seek him for style,
you may search him for flair,
But I tell you once and once again,
Kambli's not there!
Kambli is not a ginger bat,
not too tall or thin,
you'd know him, if you saw him,
goldchains, he's draped in.
his eyes are deeply browed in thought,
(probably they are loaned)
his bat is covered with dust from neglect,
his hair is uncombed.
he sways his head from side to side,
movements like a snake,
and when the trundlers think he's fast asleep,
Kambli is wide awake!
Kambli, Kambli there is no one quite like Kambli,
he is a fiend, a monster of mediocrity,
you may meet him in record books,
you may see him in the square,
but when a crisis is discovered
Kambli's not there!
When the runs are needed quick,
or the bowlers get on top,
when India needs to save a test,
or when a win hangs by the hair,
that's the wonder of the whole thing -
Kambli's not there!
Kambli Kambli there is no like Kambli,
he's a genius, a monster of tenacity.
You may meet him in the record books,
you may see him in the square
but when a crisis is discovered,
Kambli's never there!
Reverse swing poem
Would you believe this incredible pair,
a captain's dream, batsmen's nightmare,
swing and pace, that incredible mix,
in and out, and the one that kicks,
meet the kings - they have it all.
alas and despair, the thomases doubt,
noises are heard, allegations sprout,
do they tamper? is that their call?
What's the secret, of the swing reverse?
abounding arguments, mostly perverse.
quietly they continue, casting spells
actions speak, and the talent tells,
reality strikes - the theories fall.
a captain's dream, batsmen's nightmare,
swing and pace, that incredible mix,
in and out, and the one that kicks,
meet the kings - they have it all.
alas and despair, the thomases doubt,
noises are heard, allegations sprout,
do they tamper? is that their call?
What's the secret, of the swing reverse?
abounding arguments, mostly perverse.
quietly they continue, casting spells
actions speak, and the talent tells,
reality strikes - the theories fall.
Indian donkeys
An American Says: Our dogs are so well trained that they can detect bombs planted any where.
A Japnese says: Our fish can play football.
A Canadian says: Our Dolphins can carry humans and swim.
The Indian says: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai.......
Hamare to GADHE bhi CRICKET WORLD CUP khelte hain......!!
Taken from an Indian website (rediff.com) by one of their irate fans after their early exit from the WC!
A Japnese says: Our fish can play football.
A Canadian says: Our Dolphins can carry humans and swim.
The Indian says: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi hai.......
Hamare to GADHE bhi CRICKET WORLD CUP khelte hain......!!
Taken from an Indian website (rediff.com) by one of their irate fans after their early exit from the WC!
India won twenty20 world cup
India Won Twenty20 World Cup final
twenty 20 cricket, twenty20 cricket, twenty 20 cup, twenty20 cup
Shayari On Cricket
Aasma ko dharti pe lane wala chahiye?,
jhukti hai duniya jhukane wala chahiye?,
Aasma ko dharti pe lane wala chahiye?,
jhukti hai duniya jhukane wala chahiye?,
Arey koi samjhao, India ko??,
cricket match mein jitane wala chahiye !!!
Indian cricket team mein dekho toe sab kaayar
twenty 20 cricket, twenty20 cricket, twenty 20 cup, twenty20 cup
Shayari On Cricket
Aasma ko dharti pe lane wala chahiye?,
jhukti hai duniya jhukane wala chahiye?,
Aasma ko dharti pe lane wala chahiye?,
jhukti hai duniya jhukane wala chahiye?,
Arey koi samjhao, India ko??,
cricket match mein jitane wala chahiye !!!
Indian cricket team mein dekho toe sab kaayar
cricket talk on pitch
At the start of the Indian innings(280 required for a win),
Ganguly to Ramesh "I am not comfortable with Akhtar's pace. So I
will attack Akram and u take care of Akhtar."
After 4 overs(with hardly any runs on the board),
Ramesh to Ganguly "These guys are bowling very fast. We will see
them off and then attack Mahmood and Saqlain."
After 13 overs(when Azhar Mahmood and Saqlain were bowling),
Ganguly to Dravid "I don't think we can score off these guys as
well. We will wait for Arshad Khan and Shahid Afridi. Surely we can easily
attack them. After all, Shahid Afridi is a part-time bowler."
After Afridi bowled some overs,
Dravid to Robin Singh "Don't worry, Robin. I heard that England
bowlers are easier to score off. We will play out 50 overs and attack in the
next match."
At the end of the match,
Joshi to Mongia "Why didn't u try to force the pace?"
Mongia to Joshi "No, yaar. If I try to force the pace against these
bowlers, I will get out. There is only one way by which I can score runs fastly without getting out."
Joshi to Mongia "What is it?"
Mongia to Joshi " You have to bowl to me."
Ganguly to Ramesh "I am not comfortable with Akhtar's pace. So I
will attack Akram and u take care of Akhtar."
After 4 overs(with hardly any runs on the board),
Ramesh to Ganguly "These guys are bowling very fast. We will see
them off and then attack Mahmood and Saqlain."
After 13 overs(when Azhar Mahmood and Saqlain were bowling),
Ganguly to Dravid "I don't think we can score off these guys as
well. We will wait for Arshad Khan and Shahid Afridi. Surely we can easily
attack them. After all, Shahid Afridi is a part-time bowler."
After Afridi bowled some overs,
Dravid to Robin Singh "Don't worry, Robin. I heard that England
bowlers are easier to score off. We will play out 50 overs and attack in the
next match."
At the end of the match,
Joshi to Mongia "Why didn't u try to force the pace?"
Mongia to Joshi "No, yaar. If I try to force the pace against these
bowlers, I will get out. There is only one way by which I can score runs fastly without getting out."
Joshi to Mongia "What is it?"
Mongia to Joshi " You have to bowl to me."
new rules for indian cricket
1) Declaring the winner: If Pakistan bats first and scores x runs then
the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1
runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs
for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India
contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.
2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder
touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen
will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being
done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.
3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have
been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,
Batting coach : Ravi Shastri
Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions) : Chetan
Sharma
Fielding Coach : Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)
TV Commercials Coach : Salman Khan
Video Coach : Name will be announced later
4) As the deadline to submit final 15 players for the 1999 World Cup is
over, the result of the match on 18th April between 1983 Indian team and
the current team will not have any bearing on the team going to England.
Any other suggestions are welcome. We at the ICC would like to
ascertain again our commitment to spread the game of cricket globally, from Mozambique to Maldives and from Turkmenistan to Tibet.
Thanking You.
Yours Sincerely,
Jagmohan Dalmiya
the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1
runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs
for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India
contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.
2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder
touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen
will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being
done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.
3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have
been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,
Batting coach : Ravi Shastri
Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions) : Chetan
Sharma
Fielding Coach : Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)
TV Commercials Coach : Salman Khan
Video Coach : Name will be announced later
4) As the deadline to submit final 15 players for the 1999 World Cup is
over, the result of the match on 18th April between 1983 Indian team and
the current team will not have any bearing on the team going to England.
Any other suggestions are welcome. We at the ICC would like to
ascertain again our commitment to spread the game of cricket globally, from Mozambique to Maldives and from Turkmenistan to Tibet.
Thanking You.
Yours Sincerely,
Jagmohan Dalmiya
south africa local commentary
"Alan Kourie looks calm, but inside his chest beats a heart" -
Trevor Quirk during a tense BAndH game.
"And there`s the George Headly Stand, named after George Headly"
- Trevor Quirk during the test between WI and SA at Bridgetown.
"There are 25000 people here today and they are all here to watch
the cricket" - Loius Karpus during the world cup.
"Omar Henry hit one or two boundries in his seven."- Nic Collis
during a Currie Cup Match.
"There`s Anil Kumble. We`re looking forward to seeing him bat,
he`s a very usefull bowler." - Martin Locke During the first test
SA vs IND.
"A very small crowd here today. I can count the people on one
hand - Can`t be more than 30" - Michael Abrahamson drung IND VS
COMBINED BOWL XI
"14 overs left, that`s 7 from each end" - Robin Jackman during
SRI VS SA at Colombo.
"We cross over now to the Waca, for the match between Pakistan
and Australia, where Richie Benaud is our commentator, so without
further ado, it`s over to the Waca, where Australia played Pakis-
tan, our Man Richie Benaud is waiting at the Waca, and it`s Aus-
tralia Versus Pakistan so over to Richie" - Louis Karpus announc-
ing a match at hmm... where was it again? oh yea, the Waca.
"An emotional moment, a marvelous match, a terrific innings -
what can one say on this historic day?" - Martin Lock
Trevor Quirk during a tense BAndH game.
"And there`s the George Headly Stand, named after George Headly"
- Trevor Quirk during the test between WI and SA at Bridgetown.
"There are 25000 people here today and they are all here to watch
the cricket" - Loius Karpus during the world cup.
"Omar Henry hit one or two boundries in his seven."- Nic Collis
during a Currie Cup Match.
"There`s Anil Kumble. We`re looking forward to seeing him bat,
he`s a very usefull bowler." - Martin Locke During the first test
SA vs IND.
"A very small crowd here today. I can count the people on one
hand - Can`t be more than 30" - Michael Abrahamson drung IND VS
COMBINED BOWL XI
"14 overs left, that`s 7 from each end" - Robin Jackman during
SRI VS SA at Colombo.
"We cross over now to the Waca, for the match between Pakistan
and Australia, where Richie Benaud is our commentator, so without
further ado, it`s over to the Waca, where Australia played Pakis-
tan, our Man Richie Benaud is waiting at the Waca, and it`s Aus-
tralia Versus Pakistan so over to Richie" - Louis Karpus announc-
ing a match at hmm... where was it again? oh yea, the Waca.
"An emotional moment, a marvelous match, a terrific innings -
what can one say on this historic day?" - Martin Lock
merv hughes to viv richards
Merv Hughes to Viv Richards
During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*** off."
During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*** off."
rule change shocks statistics
A suprise decision by the ICC has cricket statisticians confused and angry. The ICC has ruled that from now on the boundary previously rewarded with 6 runs will be worth 10. The move is designed to encourage big hitting and exciting cricket. An ICC spokesman is quoted as saying ``The crowd likes nothing better than a sixer - yet the danger of hitting the ball in the air is such that many will not attempt big hits. With 10 runs as a reward, the risk will seem much more acceptable. We look forward to faster scoring rates, and new records being set.'' It is believed that the rule change was proposed by Sri Lanka, who stand to benefit more than most.
Statisticians are furious, believing that such a drastic change will make averages and other records meaningless. Recent computerized scoring software will have to reprogrammed. The last such rule change was in the 19th Century, when the boundary rope was introduced (before this a six had to be hit out of the ground). The rule will come into effect as of today (April 1st). Earlier reports that the rule change would be retroactively applied to all games played in 1997 proved incorrect, as it was found that the results of several one-day internationals would be reversed.
Statisticians are furious, believing that such a drastic change will make averages and other records meaningless. Recent computerized scoring software will have to reprogrammed. The last such rule change was in the 19th Century, when the boundary rope was introduced (before this a six had to be hit out of the ground). The rule will come into effect as of today (April 1st). Earlier reports that the rule change would be retroactively applied to all games played in 1997 proved incorrect, as it was found that the results of several one-day internationals would be reversed.
Ian healy to Ranatunga
Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel Nine microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****!!!"
shane warne about arjuna
Shane Warne, about Arjuna: "Arjuna, he's probably slotting himself around at 150 kg at the moment, is he? Swallowed a sheep or something like that."
Arjuna's response: "It is better to swallow a sheep or a goat than swallow what he has been swallowing."
(after Warne was banned for a year for testing positive for a banned diuretic)
Arjuna's response: "It is better to swallow a sheep or a goat than swallow what he has been swallowing."
(after Warne was banned for a year for testing positive for a banned diuretic)
indian team manager
Indian Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)
Caller :"Can I talk to Azharuddin Please,I am his friend and
calling from Hyderabad."
Indian Team Manager:"Sorry,he went to bat"
Azharuddin's friend:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
Caller :"Can I talk to Azharuddin Please,I am his friend and
calling from Hyderabad."
Indian Team Manager:"Sorry,he went to bat"
Azharuddin's friend:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
cricket in 5 sentences
You have two sides one out in the field and one in .
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out .
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out .
Sometimes you get men still in and not out .
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs , THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME !
HOWZAT !!!!!
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out .
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out .
Sometimes you get men still in and not out .
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs , THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME !
HOWZAT !!!!!
indian cricket team questions
What is the height of optimism ?
Ganguly coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.
Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
When would ganguly have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
You can read other jokes by clicking on the menu on your left.
Ganguly coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.
Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
When would ganguly have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
You can read other jokes by clicking on the menu on your left.
cricketers name acronyms
Cricketers' names and what they really stand for
------------------------------------------------
Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result
Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen ...Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble
Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really Accurately
Shastri - Shall His Achivements Still Truly Remain Interred?
Srinath - Simply Ravishing Incutters, Not A Ten-wicket Haul |
Kumble - Killer Universal, Makes Batsmen Leave Embarassed
Sidhu - Shall I Drop Him Unfairly?
Mongia - Many Of Nayan's Gatherings Instigate Admiration
Chetan - Cantering Hurriedly, Ends-up Throwing Another No-ball
Raman - Remember, All Madrasis Are Nervous
Amol - Another Mumbai-ite Overly Lauded ?
Muzumdar - Mediocre Underachiever Zealously Undertakes Many Drives And
Run-outs
Ankola - Another Non Karnatakan Obviously Lacking Ability
Kuruvilla - Keralite Under Relocation Ultimately Vanquished In Lady
Luck's
Arena
Waqar - With A Quirky Ambulating Run-up
Qadir - Quirky And Dancing In Run-up
Salim - Silken And Lovely is Malik
Malik - Making A Little Illegally To Keep
Miandad - Made India A Nation, Devastated And Demoralised
Abbas - Another Batsman Better Against Spin
Inzamam - In New Zealand A Magical Artillery Man
Afridi - A Fabulous Record In Debut Innings
Mushtaq - Maybe Under Shane, However Turns Amazingly Quickly
Saqlain - Such A Queer Loser Against India Nowadays
Saeed Anwar - Solid, Authoritative, Elegant, Energetic Destroyer And
Never
Will Act Rudely
Muralitharan - Makes Umpires Really Anxious: Look Into The Hairy
Annals,
Read A Newsgroup
Hadlee - Has Always Destroyed Lesser Experienced Enemies
Botham - Bat Only To Hit Against Mediocres Brings Out The Hash After
Meals
Lara - Loutish Although Really Amazing
Richards - Risk In Crises Has Aroused Rare Devastating Shots
Marshall - Murderous Angry Rebel Shall Harm All Lily-livered Lilies
Bradman - Brilliant Ruler Always Delighted Many A Newcomer - Bragging
Rights Always Demand Magnificently Astronomic Numbers
Gatting - Glutton Aiming Towards Tons In Numerous Grounds
- God
...Almighty,
that Tweaker Is Never Going |
Gower - Gifts Of Willow Ever Resplendent Gentlemanly Outlook, Wants
Easy
Runs
Garner - Giant Arms Really Necessitate Extreme Reactions
Holding - He Often Laughingly Demolished Intently Navigating Grafters
Border - Boisterous Old Rabbit Downed Enviable Records
Boycott - Boring Old Yorkshireman Could Outlast Testing Times
Hooper - Hopes Of Outstanding Performances Ever Ridiculed
Illingworth - Idiotic Lousy Loser Invariably Never Grasped Worth of
Ramprakash, Then Hick
Sobers - Simply Outstanding Batsman Effortlessly Repeats Sixes
Supreme -
Only Bradman Ever Rated Similarly
Kanhai - King Amongst Noblemen Hardly Affected Invidiously
Hughes - Hellishly Ugly Guy Had Excellent Spells
Jardine - Jeopardising All Relations, Dastardly Introduced Neanderthal
England
Kalu - Keeping And Lashing Unendingly
Donald - Don't Overdo, Nearly Another Ligament Damaged
Rhodes - Rather Hyperactive Oddball Defies Expected Standards
Wessels - Workmanlike Emigrator Scored Slowly Encompassing Lengthy
Spells
Lillee - Loves Injuring Lily Livered Earnest Englishmen
Knott - Keeper Number One, Tried and Tested
Miller - Movie Idol Looks, Leading English Rout
Twose - Trier Who Only Succeeded Emigrating
Adams - Another Dasher Against Mediocre Spin
Browne - Bottom Ranked Of Wicketkeepers Nearly EVER | Bringing Really
Ordinary Wicketkeeping Near Everybody
Crowe - Can Really Overdo Whacking Everything
Nash - Narcotics Aren't So Hot
Hart - Hashish Ain't Really Terrific
------------------------------------------------
Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result
Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen ...Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble
Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really Accurately
Shastri - Shall His Achivements Still Truly Remain Interred?
Srinath - Simply Ravishing Incutters, Not A Ten-wicket Haul |
Kumble - Killer Universal, Makes Batsmen Leave Embarassed
Sidhu - Shall I Drop Him Unfairly?
Mongia - Many Of Nayan's Gatherings Instigate Admiration
Chetan - Cantering Hurriedly, Ends-up Throwing Another No-ball
Raman - Remember, All Madrasis Are Nervous
Amol - Another Mumbai-ite Overly Lauded ?
Muzumdar - Mediocre Underachiever Zealously Undertakes Many Drives And
Run-outs
Ankola - Another Non Karnatakan Obviously Lacking Ability
Kuruvilla - Keralite Under Relocation Ultimately Vanquished In Lady
Luck's
Arena
Waqar - With A Quirky Ambulating Run-up
Qadir - Quirky And Dancing In Run-up
Salim - Silken And Lovely is Malik
Malik - Making A Little Illegally To Keep
Miandad - Made India A Nation, Devastated And Demoralised
Abbas - Another Batsman Better Against Spin
Inzamam - In New Zealand A Magical Artillery Man
Afridi - A Fabulous Record In Debut Innings
Mushtaq - Maybe Under Shane, However Turns Amazingly Quickly
Saqlain - Such A Queer Loser Against India Nowadays
Saeed Anwar - Solid, Authoritative, Elegant, Energetic Destroyer And
Never
Will Act Rudely
Muralitharan - Makes Umpires Really Anxious: Look Into The Hairy
Annals,
Read A Newsgroup
Hadlee - Has Always Destroyed Lesser Experienced Enemies
Botham - Bat Only To Hit Against Mediocres Brings Out The Hash After
Meals
Lara - Loutish Although Really Amazing
Richards - Risk In Crises Has Aroused Rare Devastating Shots
Marshall - Murderous Angry Rebel Shall Harm All Lily-livered Lilies
Bradman - Brilliant Ruler Always Delighted Many A Newcomer - Bragging
Rights Always Demand Magnificently Astronomic Numbers
Gatting - Glutton Aiming Towards Tons In Numerous Grounds
- God
...Almighty,
that Tweaker Is Never Going |
Gower - Gifts Of Willow Ever Resplendent Gentlemanly Outlook, Wants
Easy
Runs
Garner - Giant Arms Really Necessitate Extreme Reactions
Holding - He Often Laughingly Demolished Intently Navigating Grafters
Border - Boisterous Old Rabbit Downed Enviable Records
Boycott - Boring Old Yorkshireman Could Outlast Testing Times
Hooper - Hopes Of Outstanding Performances Ever Ridiculed
Illingworth - Idiotic Lousy Loser Invariably Never Grasped Worth of
Ramprakash, Then Hick
Sobers - Simply Outstanding Batsman Effortlessly Repeats Sixes
Supreme -
Only Bradman Ever Rated Similarly
Kanhai - King Amongst Noblemen Hardly Affected Invidiously
Hughes - Hellishly Ugly Guy Had Excellent Spells
Jardine - Jeopardising All Relations, Dastardly Introduced Neanderthal
England
Kalu - Keeping And Lashing Unendingly
Donald - Don't Overdo, Nearly Another Ligament Damaged
Rhodes - Rather Hyperactive Oddball Defies Expected Standards
Wessels - Workmanlike Emigrator Scored Slowly Encompassing Lengthy
Spells
Lillee - Loves Injuring Lily Livered Earnest Englishmen
Knott - Keeper Number One, Tried and Tested
Miller - Movie Idol Looks, Leading English Rout
Twose - Trier Who Only Succeeded Emigrating
Adams - Another Dasher Against Mediocre Spin
Browne - Bottom Ranked Of Wicketkeepers Nearly EVER | Bringing Really
Ordinary Wicketkeeping Near Everybody
Crowe - Can Really Overdo Whacking Everything
Nash - Narcotics Aren't So Hot
Hart - Hashish Ain't Really Terrific
with the world cup 2007 coming
With the World Cup 2007 coming up shortly, you will find more cricket related features on my site.
Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111. - John Snagge, BBC News
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one. - Tony Greig, Channel 9
It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.- Jack Potter, 3UZ
Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary. - Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio
I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign...Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else. - Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993
Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare. - Mike Brearley, 1980
Yorkshire legend Brian Close's advice to his team as Gary Sobers came in to bat: Right lads: this guy's a left hander".
One from the ABC box: Jim Maxwell: "The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright" and the prompt reply from I forget who: "That's right!"
At the royal wedding in 1981 Johnners was commentating on BBC radio outside St. Pauls cathedral. 'Yes I can see the happy couple now making their way down the steps of the pavilion'.
'The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast that delivery was'. Benaud
That tough cricketer Brian Close was fielding close to the wicket at short leg when the batsman produced a full-blooded pull shot and the ball hit the fielder hard on the side of his face. Amazingly it flew straight up in the air and the batsman was caught at slip. "My God," said a worried fielder going up to check on Close. "What would have happened if he'd hit you right between the eyes?" "In that case," growled Close, "the bugger would have been caught at cover."
"The English," wrote one Englishman, "are not a spiritual people, and so they invented cricket in order to have some conception of eternity.'' The people of the Indian sub-continent are, however, intensely religious: and they adopted cricket in order to have some excuse for celebration.
Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.- BrianJohnston, BBC Radio If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.- Bob Massie, ABC Radio
It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up. - Max Walker, Channel 9
It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio
On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off. - Trevor Bailey, Radio 3
Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result?
A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want. - Mike Gatting, ITV
Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111. - John Snagge, BBC News
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one. - Tony Greig, Channel 9
It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.- Jack Potter, 3UZ
Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary. - Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio
I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign...Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else. - Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993
Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare. - Mike Brearley, 1980
Yorkshire legend Brian Close's advice to his team as Gary Sobers came in to bat: Right lads: this guy's a left hander".
One from the ABC box: Jim Maxwell: "The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright" and the prompt reply from I forget who: "That's right!"
At the royal wedding in 1981 Johnners was commentating on BBC radio outside St. Pauls cathedral. 'Yes I can see the happy couple now making their way down the steps of the pavilion'.
'The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast that delivery was'. Benaud
That tough cricketer Brian Close was fielding close to the wicket at short leg when the batsman produced a full-blooded pull shot and the ball hit the fielder hard on the side of his face. Amazingly it flew straight up in the air and the batsman was caught at slip. "My God," said a worried fielder going up to check on Close. "What would have happened if he'd hit you right between the eyes?" "In that case," growled Close, "the bugger would have been caught at cover."
"The English," wrote one Englishman, "are not a spiritual people, and so they invented cricket in order to have some conception of eternity.'' The people of the Indian sub-continent are, however, intensely religious: and they adopted cricket in order to have some excuse for celebration.
Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.- BrianJohnston, BBC Radio If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.- Bob Massie, ABC Radio
It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up. - Max Walker, Channel 9
It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio
On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off. - Trevor Bailey, Radio 3
Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result?
A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want. - Mike Gatting, ITV
