a boy goes 2 see a cabare danc

A boy goes 2 see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry and asks him: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed 2 see BOY: Yes i Saw Dad.

what is the height of mixed em

What is the height of mixed emotions???

when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes!!!!

people who do lots of workmake

People who do lots of work?make lots of mistakes, People who do less work?make less mistakes, People who do no work?make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes?get promoted.

a love letter from biscuit mak

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...

n a train ticket checker to a

n a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!

Saint: I don't have.

TT: Where do you want to go?

Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!

TT: Come, lets go!

Saint: Where?

TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

hello too the owner of the cel

Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no.+316........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW!

the nhs regrets to inform you

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.

height of optimism

Height of Optimism... Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies", SARDAR Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !.

guydo u knowwen i was a kid

Guy.-Do u know,wen i was a kid

so many girls wantd to kiss me,i allowed,but

now i want 2 kiss so many girls,but

they dont allow. SELFISH GIRLS

i want 2 share everything with

I want 2 Share EVERYTHING with U.

Ur SADNESS..

Ur HAPPY MOMENTS..

Every Single SECOND OF THE DAY..

Let"s START wid

ur "BANK ACCOUNT". ('_')?

the cultural difference betwee

The cultural difference between USA and INDIA...."In USA u can kiss in public places, can't do SUSU,but in INDIA u can do SUSU in public places,can't KISS...!"

welcome to www love com

WELCOME TO

www. love .com

Type password

*

**

***

****

*****

PROCESSING..

Sorry apki pyar karne ki umar nikal chuki hai

sorry dearyou cant be richer t

God asked:"If i make u rich, where would u like to live?"

I replied:"In the Heart of d person readng this msg"

God said:"Sorry dear,you can't be richer than me"

once sardar wanted 2 make a st

Once Sardar wanted 2 make a STD call 2 Amritsar,

but it was too costly.

Can u guess wht paji did ?

He went 2 Amritsar and made a local call.

today a phone without wire is

Today a phone without wire is fashion. One day will come when human without brain will be a fashion. On that day, my friend, u will Rock..

how much is 11

How much is

1+1=?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Are you looking for the answer??

Shame on you....

thought for d day if smoneu lo

Thought for d day. If smone,u love, hurts u:

set him free..

If he cumz back 2 u, shoot d Dog..

If he doesnt cum bck, hunt him down and den shoot d dog :-)

a 99 year old lady going for a

Whats

the height

of hope???....

A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme...!!

as by xperience my advice 4u f

As by xperience my advice 4u friends- have only one girl friend otherwise ur life will b very sad like me ,1side Aishwarya puling me 4 cinema other side Sania pulling me 4 Tennis and kareena keeps sending luv messages 2 me! Silly gals!Wat can i do? Hey Wait.I?m getting a call from katrina kaif?.

may our friendship turn into s

May our Friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold to diamonds, and may our diamonds be Forever? then we?ll sell it OK? Fifty-fifty?!

the smell of a woman should st

"The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache."

what a joke

Falling in love is when he lays in your arms and wakes up in your dreams." What a joke!

boy i am not rich like rohit

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!

Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

both dont exist

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?

Both don't exist.

monday went on tuesday 2 wedne

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

beat this all pj fans

beat this . . All PJ fans...

What is the cube of 13?

which one to follow great conf

"Laziness is our biggest enemy" -Jawaharlal Nehru.

"We should learn to love our enemies"- Mahathma Gandhi.

Which one to follow?... Great confusion.

bernard meltzer

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

once a crow shitted on a sarda

Once a crow shitted on a sardarji's head. Sardarjis friend offered him a tissue. "No use too late.The crow is gone!! Sardarji said.wots up my dear?misin u all..

after a passionate kiss

After a passionate kiss, the girl whispers to guy," Kiss me once more and I will be urs forever!"

The guy ran away saying, "Thanks 4d warning!

an engineering student to his

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?

Sweeper: I have the job.

wife darling today is our anni

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

beauty is not how you look

Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

always start your day with a l

Always start your day with a lot of S E X

S-mile

E-nergy

X-citement

so make SEX a daily habit, and u'll always be SMILING!

who wants 2 b a

Who Wants 2 B A

?MILLIONAIRE?

Let's play?

Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a:

A.Cunt B.Wanka

C.Rsole D.Twat

50/50

Phone a friend?

RING ME! I'LL TELL U!

evrything abt u is perfect ur

Evrything abt u is perfect - ur lips, ur skin, ur eyes, ur body. Perfect! Ur lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

we click 2geder coz u tink im

We 'click' 2geder coz u tink im nice and i tink ur nice. U tink im cool and i tink ur cool. U tink im kind and i tink ur kind. u tink im cute and i tink ur RIGHT!

when i say gud morning

When I say gud morning, dat means I'm thinking of you. When I say take care, dat means I care for you. When I say and cute mo, antok lang ako.

u sed pls dnt cry i sed its ol

u sed pls dnt cry, i sed its olryt.. u sed pls dnt liv me, i sed wen did i? u sed il go nw, i ask wr wd u go? u sed m luving sme1, i ask hu? u sed - its not u.. kala ko ako.

sm1 once asked mehav u evr fol

sm1 once asked me,"hav u evr folen n luv?" den i answrd "of course..mny tyms" den dey gave me anoder qstion, "did it hurt?" i thot of u and told dem "yes..very mch".

whats the difference between w

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?

Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately

its the sweetest thing to do

It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

e man pays 200

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

romance mathematics

Romance Mathematics

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

hey dont get excited i love ot

I love "u",

I love "u",

I love "u",

I love "u",

I love "u",

I love "u",

I love "u".

Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z !

commerce professor asks the st

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".

an englishman bihari and punja

An englishman, bihari and punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.

Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice and Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

every indian women is rani kax

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.

RANI - Before marriage.

LAXMI - After marriage.

BAI - After children.

dear i want k

Dear i Want k ..

Tum aur Main,Tesra Koi na..In a Superior Hotel at Night on a Table,A Candle Light Dinner..Celebrate Our Relation And i Want to Say u Thoese 3 Lovely Words..

"PAY THE BILL"

great calculation only 20 boys

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.

Rest have

Girlfriends

girls are like an internet vir

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever

why are egyptians children alw

Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??

Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY.

my nights are going sleepless

My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, "is this love?". GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".

because it teaches how

To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!

sun is shining when the moon i

sun is shining, when the moon is brightning, stars are twinkling ,when the birds are chattering , boys are whistling , when the gals are smiling.

thats why boys go to college r

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

q what did the gangsters son t

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his

examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

several women appeared in cour

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

getting married is very much l

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

subscriber cannot be reached

If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money........ SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

manmohanji ki priorty

Manmohanji ki priorty,

1)all sardar jokes banned,

2)12 nahi bajenge, 11 ke baad 1 bajega,

3) bolo tara ra ra will be national anthem.

when words fail eyes work

When words fail, Eyes Work,

When Eyes fail, Heart Works,

When Heart fail... To kya?

Samjh ke tapak gaya. MAMU..!

we will now upgrade your brain

We will now upgrade your brain,

please wait....

Searching....

searching...

still searching....

sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

american a new born baby

American: a new born baby has no hands . we made artificial he became boxer champion

Indian: a new born baby has no head we fitted coconut and he became railway minister.

airhostess 2 laloo sir r u veg

airhostess 2 laloo... sir r u veg or non veg?

he says no i m sagitarian.

she says no sir r u shakahari or mansahari?

he says no i m bihari.

gud morning

Gud morning....

If u dont hv a GF/BF, dont hv a nice job. Dont like 2 party and dancing, just hv a boring life, den dont worry just log on to

one day i read smoking is bad

One day i read smoking is bad,

i stopped smoking.

one day i read drinking is bad,

i stopped drinking.

one day i read SEX is bad,

i stopped reading.

its too hard to lose someone w

its too hard to lose someone who is 95% cute 96% sweet 97% loving 98%talanted and 100% friendly thats me what a shame if u lose me hahahahahhaahhahahhahhahahh

whn u get dis sms send it

whn u get dis sms send it 2 1 person u love,1 u hate,1 u always thnk of and 1 u wish 2 kill..now keep guessin y i sent it 2 U.

girls are like an internet vir

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever

fatherthe grl i hv chosen fr u

Father:the grl i hv chosen fr u is

roopavathi, gunavathi and hanavathi. so u shud marry that girl

Son: but d girl whom i love is GARBHAVATHI so i must marry her.

flashnews

Flashnews:

CBI raids in abhishek bacchan's house:

Bathroom 10 lacs

cash, Store room 50kg gold, and Bedroom full of my photos !!!!

Silly Boy

Crazy abt ME...

good morning

Good Morning..

Have a Good Day! if u dont have Good Day,

no problem !

There r many other brands like 50-50,Milk Bikis,Britania,Hide and Seek,Marie Gold,etc etc...

urther on the counter there wa

urther on the counter there was a box of choclates, on which a child had written: "Take as many as you want. God is watching over the apples."

reverse dynamics

Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty and when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

pushpaa

A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?

Push......Paa.

one day raja and rani decided

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"

terrorists have kidnapped our

Terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. I have donated 15 litres.

husband sitting near to his wi

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No :please. No: please No please No pls.. Husband:the Newspaper will publish ur correct Age 55 in case of accident: Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

another moon possible

Another MOON ? ..........Possible

Another SUN ? ..............Possible

Another SKY ? ................Possible

Another Friend Like U ? .........Impossible

'coz GOD can't make the same MISTAKE twice

manmohan singh we are sending

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

Bush: Wow! Howc many?

Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians and if possible 1 Astronnaut

gud morning

Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks

pappu profit in rupees and los

In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit? Pappu: Profit in rupees and loss in paise

a ducks walks into a bar and a

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartenders says no.

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

there was once a wife so jealo

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets.
she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume,
she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

a chinese couple named their 1

A chinese couple named their 1st baby 'ching chong fong',

2nd 'chang ching kong',

3rd a Negro was born they named it 'sum thing rong

9 ab mat kahna ki sms nahi kar

9

messages

received

1

Hi!

2

How r u?

3

Hope ur ok

4

Miss u!

5

Miss me?

6

Be happy

7

Take care

8

Bye

9 Ab mat kahna ki SMS nahi karte

accident took placecrowd gathe

Accident took place.Crowd gathered. Sardar reporter couldnt get in. Clever Sardar cried-Mera bapu.Crowd made way 4him bt it was a donkey on d road.

cat exam sample question

CAT exam : Sample question ....

Wats the solution for 2+2 ???

Options:

a) 4 b) four

c) IV d) 4.0

Now u know why CAT is so tough !.

why girlfriend is never a wife

Luv

Easy to say - Difficult to stay..

Beautiful to feel - Difficult to deal...

Difficulty is a part of Life...

But That's the reason...

Why Girlfriend is never a wife?

im your friend

A Friend is:

1% Funny

2% Sweet

3% Caring

4% Loving and...

90% Good Looking that's why...

I'm your Friend!

i am getting married next sund

I am getting married next sunday...

Ther wud b a small party and
only a few ppl will b invited. Dont bring any gift. Jus bring some1 2 marry me!

biscuit makers luv letter

Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

girls psychology fraud with i

Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys

Fun with Handsome Boys

Friendship with Charming Boys

Contacts with Intelligent Boys

Flirt with Freaky Boys

Love with Faithful Boys and

in the end

Marriage with the Rich Boy

when i send sms to u it doesnt

When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same...

U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD and Cheques r also accepted.

toh asli ravan kaun

Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...!

Toh asli Ravan kaun??

q why do all afghans carry a p

Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: Because they need a map.

indian airlines slogan

Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience and motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work and motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

who is more satisfied a man wi

Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?

The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more

eyes to look at you

EYES : To look at you

HAND : To pray for you

Mind : To remember you

Heart : To love you

AND

AND

AND

AND

AND LEGS : To kick YOU..

If you forget me... !! GOT IT!!!

days continuos to paas

Days ContinuoS TO PaaS,

StaR ContinuoS to ShinE,

WhY ShuD I BrinG TearS IN MY EyeS,

WheN ShE WaS NeveR MinE....

havin a friend

Havin a Friend

So SWEET

So CARING

So TRUE

So SINCERE

Is a TREASURE!

So I can't juz imagine

How Lucky U R having Me!

Ow! I mean...

Me

having U!

havin a friend

Havin a Friend

So SWEET

So CARING

So TRUE

So SINCERE

Is a TREASURE!

So I can't juz imagine

How Lucky U R having Me!

Ow! I mean...

Me

having U!

salman khan is coming

Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?

Salman Khan is coming

but gals father shoul have his

Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!

But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.

wonder fool amongst all fools

FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL and wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS

why do couples hold hands duri

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

falling in love is a sweet amb

Falling in love is a sweet ambition,

finding true love is a life time mission..

Take my word, follow the Indian tradition

and marry ur dad's decision !

i mixed rum in water and got d

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.

I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.

I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.

Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

take u 4 walk on a bridge and

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I?ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

heart attack

Hi,

Doing nothing?

Then Make a Place,

4 Me in ur Heart!!

I May come there any time!

Ur's Faithfully,

"HeArT aTtAcK"

now its 2 late dont try 2 chan

A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.

Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!

im selling tissues buy 1 get 1

When things go wrong,

when sadness fills ur heart

and when tears flow 4rm ur eyes,

just let me know,

coz I want 2b there 4 you!

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

I'm selling TISSUES, BUY 1 GET 1 FREE

what happend to your mobile

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

government of india has introd

Government of INDIA has introduced a new rule...Good looking people should be thrown out of country!!! U r safe..oh! No where should I Hide???

qwhy did god create u before m

Q:Why did God Create U before Me....?

Ans: Bcause he wanted to Create a SAMPLE,
Be4 Creating A *Master-Piece*.
He! He! He! Hu!! Hu!! Hey!! Hey!!

life is like a movie

Life is like a MOVIE...

If u r sad - DRAMA

If u r afraid - SUSPENSE

If u r angry - ACTION

When u Luk at the mirror - HORROR

Now u r smilling - that's COMEDY

can v do romance in the evenin

Can v do romance in the evening today?

I'm in a good mood

Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

"MOSQUITO"

flowers die stories end

Flowers die, Stories end,

Songs fade, Memories r 4gotten...

All things come 2 an end but precious people like me r treasured 4ever n 4ever :-)

in your life when you wake up

In your life, when you wake up and don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand and take you to the EYE SPECIALIST

if ever in your life u r very

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I?ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

Always remember 3 things

1) I am with you

2) You have money

3) Bar is open, Lets go.

a mobile is like women

A mobile is like women :- TALKS NON-STOP, COSTS A FORTUNE, DISTURBS WHEN UR BUSY AND WHEN U NEED THEM URGENTLY THEY HAVE NO SERVICE.

the history continues

L o n g t i m e a g o...

o n l y idiots used...

to read my S M S.

And, t o d a y,

the history continues

i love you nescafe

Every morning U are the first thing that come 2 my mind.

I wish I would start my day with U in my bed.

I Luv ur feel on my lips. U just make my day.

I luv U Nescafe.

cheque is like girl friend whi

What is the different between DD and Cheque? DD is like wife which is being trusted but cheque is like Girl Friend which can bounce at any time.

every ten seconds

Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

girls are like cell phones

Girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. Guys are like buses. If you miss that one, another will be along soon.

when a battered wife learns to

When a battered wife learns to fight back, blame the husband. He showed signs of weakness. When a battered husband learns to fight back, blame the wife. She took too far.

so feel free 2 call me any tim

"Talking once with a Genius is equal 2 the Knowledge of reading books for 1 month" is a chinese proverb.So feel free 2 call me any time....

life is smalllive it

Life is small,Live it!

Luv is pure,Enjoy it! Anger is injurious,Dump it!

Troubles r short,Face it! Memories r sweet,

Cherish it!

I'm d BEST,Accept it!

u r smiling and everyone is ar

when u were born u were crying and everyone around was smiling, live your life so that when you die, u r smiling and everyone is around crying.

at night i dont sleep coz im h

In da mornin I don?t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don?t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don?t eat coz I think of u, at night I don?t sleep coz Im hungry

a u r attractive

A - U r Attractive

B - U r the Best

C - U r Cute

D - U r Dear 2 Me

E - U r Excellent

F - U r Funny

G - U r Good-Looking

H - hehehe

I - I'm

J - JOKING

latest poem in school

Latest poem in SCHOOL.

Twinkle twinkle little STAR.I just went to ROYAL BAR.Quarter rates are up so HIGH.

So drink a beer with chicken FRY!

u will be a rose for all trees

U will be a ROSE for all TREES

U will be a SMILE

for all FACES

U will be WATER FALLS for all HILLS

and

U will be a BROHTER

for all CUTE GIRLS .

i wnt u to b wit me in a nice

I wnt u to b wit me in a nice restaurant 2 hav CandleLight Dinner and say thos 3 sweet word 2 u.Pay The Bill

true love is like an pillow

True love is like an pillow, u can hug when you are in trouble, you can cry when you are in pain and u can embrace when you are happy. So when u need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.

if you are in tension

If you are in tension,

If nothing seems right,

If u find no way out,

Then just think of me only once,

I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.

this u r jealous of me coz im

If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still cute. If u fwd this, u r spreading that i'm cute and if u erase

this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!

some people ask the secret of

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman

mrs white from clue

“Husbands should be like kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.’”

- “Mrs. White” from “Clue”

i would consider it my duty to

"I would consider it my duty to help your release from this world."

- "Horatio Hornblower" from "Horatio Hornblower" in "The Fire Ships"

socrates

"I know more than you, because you think you know something, whereas I know I know nothing."

- Socrates

joseph heller

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”

- Joseph Heller

there are two kinds of people

“There are two kinds of people:

those who don't do what they want to do,

so they write it down in a diary

about what they haven't done,

and those who haven't time to write about it because they're out doing it.”

- Richard Flournay and Lewis Foster

mark twain

“A classic - something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”

- Mark Twain

erno philips

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips

love in pakistan

love in pakistan

romance in afganistan

marrige in rajsthan

no more children in hindustan............

sometimes small things in life

Sometimes small things in life hurt a lot...

if u dont agree with me,

TRY TO SIT ON A PIN!!!

abhi to sirf plot kharida hay

1 makhi ganjay k sir per ja bethi,
Dosri makhi nay kaha,
?Wah kia ghar mila hai tujhey?

Pehli makhi boli:
?Kahan yaar, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai?

hum doston ko bohut buri saza

Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,

Wah wah..!!

Irshad Irshaad..!!

Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,
Joota nahin maartay,
bus
Moza sungha dete hain?

businessman explaining the rea

Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives

?Monopoly is always damaging

and

Competition improves service?.

love is possible after friends

Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured?.!!!

life without friendship

Life without friendship is like the sky without sun.

friendship is a single soul li

Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies.

one day apparao went for offic

One day Apparao Went for office nd retun back immediatly..Wife Surpirse nd asked y return? A.R told my Bosss told "Go To Hell'...

one day apparao went for offic

One day Apparao Went for office nd retun back immediatly..Wife Surpirse nd asked y return? A.R told my Bosss told "Go To Hell'...

one day apparao went for offic

One day Apparao Went for office nd retun back immediatly..Wife Surpirse nd asked y return? A.R told my Bosss told "Go To Hell'...

doct and sardar loves a same g

Doct and Sardar loves a same girl, Sardar gives apple 2 her everyday.Doc asks,"why do u give apple daily."
sard - "An apple a day keeps da Doc Away."

only true friends stand by u

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

when u feel sad

When u feel sad?.
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
?damn I am really so cute?
u will overcome your sadness.
But don?t make this a habit?..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

the brain is a wonderful organ

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get
up and does not stop until u get into the office?

i can see tea in a teacup

I Can SEE ?TEA? in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?

I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?

TRY ALL THIS??.. ?.
Atleast DO the LAST ONE.

tujhey sub pata hai

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!

doctor suggested full body xra

Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in ?Ungli?

never kiss a police woman

Never kiss a police woman.
she ?ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ?ll repeat it 10 times.

sardar ne makhi k par tor k ka

Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.

But..

makhi nahin uri,
Sardar ne kaha,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diye
jain to makhi sun nahin sakti

boy tum mujh se shadi kro gi

Boy:Tum mujh se shadi kro gi?
Girl:Nahi
Boy:Laikin Q?
Girl:Meray ghar walay nhi manain gay
Boy:Ghar main kon kon hay?
Girl:1 Husband aor 3 bachay

hum apko dekhne ki chahat rakh

Hum apko dekhne ki chahat rakhte hain,
Aapki har baat dil me chupaye rekhte hain,
Najane kub AAP T.V per aa jayen,
Isi liye din raat Cartoon Network lagae rekhtay hain..

macher ne 1 admi ko din main k

Macher ne 1 admi ko din main kata,
admi ne kaha:?tum to rat main kat?tay hona??
Macher bola,?ghar k halat kharab hain over time ker raha hon.?

1 bhoot dosray ko samjha raha

Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha:
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai,
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.

life is like a movie

Life is like a MOVIE?
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u look at the mirror - HORROR

whos dear and near friend

Who?s hot? Its U,
Who?s
Charming? Its U,
Who?s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who?s
Intelligent? Its U,
Who?s dear and near friend? Its U
Who?s a liar.. Its me

dil karta he band krwa doon si

Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,

Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye?.

jayengay car main aayengay akh

Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.

Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!

Huband : ?Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein?!!

an aeroplane asks a rocket

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

tumhain ghalat fehmi hoi hay

Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha

a pakistani man goes for fishi

A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can?t as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
?Pakistan Zindabad?

wife nonsense its only a matte

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it?s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

musharaf reema ka haath pakar

Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:

?Aao kamray mein chalain?

Reema: ?Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai?

main maa bannay wali hoon

Premika premi se: main maa Bannay wali hoon.
Premi: kya baat kar rahi ho yum hosh me to ho.
Premika: haan
Premi: Magar ham nay tou kabhi kiss tuk nahin kari
Premika: haan mai tumhare daddy se shadi kar k
tumhari maan banane wali hoon..

ek din bhagwan sharab peeny

Ek din bhagwan sharab peeny
zameen per aa giya 50 boltle peenay
k baad dukan wala bola
?ap ko charti nahi hay??
bhagwan: main bhagwan hun
Club wala: charh gaye salay ko

dont kill the students

A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus

He wrote:-

?Drive Carefully!
Don?t kill the students,
wait for the Teachers?

before and after marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don?t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I?m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage?
Now simply read from bottom to top

man needs a poison

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can?t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn?t knew u had a prescription.

50 pecent of sardars are not d

Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
?50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys?

The Sardars Protested.

Next Day News Lagi K
?50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys?

The Sardars Celebrated.

memon ka beta and girl friend

Memon ka beta apni girl friend
k sath date maar ker ghar aaya
to baap nay pocha,
kitnay paisay kharch karey?
Beta: Rs.50.
Baap:itne saray kion??
Beta: us k paas itne hi thay.

1 memon k ghar ko aag lag gai

1 memon k ghar ko aag lag gai,

woh ghar ko bacha nahin saka,

guess kion?

because wo sari raat fre brigade
walon ko miss calls marta raha.

one girl asked to pappu

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs

Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay

Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain

girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched

MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

khud ko kar buland itnaa

Khud ko kar buland itnaa K,
?Himaalaya ki choti pe jaa pahunche?
Aur khuda tujhse puche,
?Abe sale gadhe. ab utrega kaise?

har larki aap ko pyar se kehti

Aankhon Me Sharafat,
Chaal Me Nazakat,
Dil Me Sachai,
Cheray Par Safai,

Isi Liye Tou .
.
.
.
.
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
?BHAI?

ek larki ki dua

Ek LARKI Ki DUA

Kasam Se Her Larkay Ko Bhola Dongi,
Sabhi Ki Tasveren Jala Don Gi,

Ek Tum Hi Raho Gay Is Dil Mein,
Balance Dalwa Do Tumhy Dua Doun Gi

shehzadi 5 rupay dede andha ho

Ek din Wife aur Husband mandir se
niklay to ek faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupay dede, andha hon

Husband:Dedo,Tumhe Shehzadi
kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga

karti hain itna makeup k weigh

Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt?
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.

difference bw secretary and pr

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary and private secretary?

Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
and
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

in pakistan survey was done

In pakistan survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha

a beautiful girl goes to profe

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study

hamari yadoon ki khushboo

Kadam kadam pay hawa ki simt ka dihan rakhna,
Mushkil waqt main dosti ko yaad rakhna
?Hamari yadoon ki khushboo zaror aye gi tumhain?
.
.
.
bus apni NAAK SAAF rakhna.

mushraf ki niyat

Mushraf ki niyat

?Niyat karta hoon 2 molvi marne ki.

6 rocket fire farz.

Wasty bUSH uncle k.

Muon mera Jamia hafza ki tarf?

sardar i havnt slept all nite

Sardar: I hav?nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did?nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

imagine world without girls

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz and quran
and
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

delivery is free in pizza hut

Ek sardarni ko labour pain ho raha tha,
sardarji uneh ?PIZZA HUT? le ja rahe tha .
Kisi ne pucha hospital kyo nahi jate,
to sardarji bole ?oye u don?t know
delivery is free in PIZZA HUT.

doctor advised to rest for 1 m

Wife:
suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye
beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai.

Hum kahan jayen gay?
Husband: doosray doctor k paas

jhalak dikhlaja jhalak dikhlaj

Ek ladka ek ladki se ishara karke kehte hai
?jhalak dikhlaja jhalak dikhlaja?
Larki chappal nikaal k kehti hai
?ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaaja ????

wife is like a medicine bas ek

Friends Are like ?Priya Gold Biscuit? Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai

subha sham teri yaad avay hay

Subha Sham Teri Yaad Avay Hay
Aur Saari Raat Jagavay Hay,

karnay ko tu kar lon call tujhay magar??.
customer center ki larki balance low bataevay hay:)

jo jita wo sikandar

jo jita wo sikandar
jo haare wo jail ke Ander,

jo sms bheje us ko jadu ki jhappi,

jo na bheje usko
BANDAR ki pappi?..

*****
((@..@))
( * )

samandar bhar syllabus hota ha

Samandar Bhar Syllabus Hota Hai
Nadi Bhar Parh Pate Hein
Balti Barh Yad Rehta Hai
Chuloo Bhar Number Ate Hein
Jis Mein Hum Doob Jatey Hain

aaj kuch ghabraye se lagte ho

Aaj kuch ghabraye se lagte ho,
Thand mein kapkapaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho
?Good Morning?

husband tum kon hoo

Husband - tum kon hoo

Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye

HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai

1 pathan bap ki death par boha

1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya

dil se dil lagakar to dekho

Dil Se Dil Lagakar To Dekho
Hamari Yaadon Mein Aansoo Bahakar To Dekho
SMS To Kya Call Bhi Karoonga
Ek Baar Mere Mobile Ka Bill Chukakar To Dekho

hamain tumse piyaar hai

Hamain Tumse Piyaar Hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HAAN?!
.
.
.
.
.
Aye pyaray watan (Pakistan) Hamain Tumse Pyar Hai?.

dil main he mere dardebhutto

Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto

?Dard-e-bhutto?
?Dard-e-bhutto?
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
??Dard-e-Bhutto?"
??Dard-e-Bhutto?"

ha koi muqabla karne wala

ek admi chupke se jannat main

Ek admi chupke se jannat main chala gaya

farishto ne pakar kar buhat mara
admi utha aur bola

?Tum logoin ki in hi harkaton ki waja say
koi banda janta main nahin aata?

aaj ke friends i tell u

AAj ke friends I TELL U,
Kitne busy WHAT DO U DO,
Koi mujhe bole I MISS U,
Koi mujhe bole NO TIME 4 U,
Kash koi mujh se kahy

oh my dost/ i am just free 4 u

hahaha i am joking

A
B
C
D

A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME

E
F
G

E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING

H
I
J

H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING

phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi

Rule of boys:
?Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..

24 patthar nhi chaba sakte

Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

exams ka saya hai

Exams ka saya hai,
exam ke dino mein sukh kisne paya hai?
duniya wale kehte hain ache number lo,
par inhe kaun samjhaye yeh to moh maya hai!!

usne utari saree

Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ?.!

2 men went 2 a callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
?Na my wife is better.?
2nd went in and came out n said
?U R right ur wife is much better.?

a pathan said to his friend

A pathan said to his friend:
?mujhy smajh nahi aati k log
maheena maheena kaisy nhi nahatay?
Mujhy to 28vein din kharish hona shuru ho jati hai?.

1 ghar main twins paida howay

1 Ghar mein TWINS paida huwe to saas ne kaha:
mubarik ho! bhala bataao..
hamare pakistan ki halat daikh kar
bache bhi duniya mein akele ane se darte hain.

you are a dog

You are a DOG?
D = Darling
O = Of
G = Girls
Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??
Tu sach mein kutta hai

kuttey nay kaat liya tha

Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Jana k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,?Bhai yeh sab howa kaise??
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko?
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao?

boy bus aur larki

Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain?.

can kids of our age have kids

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
?can kids of our age have kids??

Teacher replied ? NO Never!!?

Boy said to girl :
?see i told you not to worry!!!!?.

husband and wife are like live

Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver and wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

new style of proposing a girl

New style of proposing a girl:
I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love,
and
I don?t want my son to do the same 4 your daughter,
So lets make them brother and sister.

better think before you smile

1 smile = 1 friendship
1 friendship = 1 love
1 love = 1 proposal
1 proposal = 1 marriage
And 1 marriage = THOUSANDS of problem.
so better think before you smile.

roses r red violts r blue

Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.

could u fax me ur photo

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it?s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ?.
I?m playing cards and
we?ve misplaced the JOKER.

ishq da jisnu khwaab aa janda

ISHQ da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,
waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,
mehboob aave ya na aave
par taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!

exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?

what is a difference between a

What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.

you are seeing my wife

Sardarji and his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go and sit back. I will drive auto?

i have lots of jokes in my inb

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can?t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I?m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
?You are so beautiful?

just think about me

Think Big.
Think Positive.
Think Smart.
Think Beautiful.
Think Great.
I know, that is too much for u,
so here is a shortcut.
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!

roses r lal skies r nila

Roses r lal
skies r nila,
ur brain is like khali patila.
Bura man liya?

O.K

Roses r red
skies r blue,
I born smart
what d hell hapened to u.

Thora sa or bura manlo :

people like you always remain

Beautiful flowers die?.
Nice stories end??
Lovely songs fade??.. ..
Momeries are forgotten? ..
All things comes to end?..
But people like YOU always remain forever

do u know the fullform of coll

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally??

Thats why boys go to college

i was a fool when i married yo

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.

the latest slogn of boys

The latest slogn of boys:
Pakistan is our nation
Girls are our Destination
Dating is Our Occupation
Flirting is our Profession
Leave about Education

santa k ghar main talaab ka pa

1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D

hont se hont milte hain tu kya

Hont se hont milte hain tu kya huta hai??
?
?
?
?
socho??
?
?
nai pata?
???
?
?
uff
kitna ganda sochte ho kuch nai bus moo band huta hai

a memon on his death time

A Memon on his death time.

My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I?m here

My sons and daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa

Memon:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D

agar aap ko garmi lagay to ap

Ek sardar se kissi ne poocha k

sardar ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay.

Admai: agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.

to the only boy i ever loved

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says,?To the only boy I ever loved!?

Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

only 20 boys have brains

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends:p

if sumone calls u crazy

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u ?cute?
.
.
.
.
lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai

monkey can read sms in my coun

American:-Dogs can find Bombs in my country.
Japanese:-Fish can play Ball in my country.
Pakistani:-Thats not a matter,Monkey can read SMS in my country?

what is the difference between

What is the difference between Monkey and Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message and
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is yours

all flowers are sweet but

Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

have a horrible day without wa

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,
while soap in ur eyes.
Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.
Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday?

a sardar ji pulled out 6 peopl

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house?
still he was in jail??.why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

we were using duplicate key

Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.

Doctor: When ?

Man:Three Months Ago

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Man: We were using duplicate key?

konsi chiz hawa main bhi urti

Teacher: zameen per rehny waly janwer bachy dety hain,
hawa main urnay waly andy daitay hain,

Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi
urti hai or bachy bhi deti hai??

Answer: air hostess

memon and banana shopkeeper

Memon: Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Memon: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Memon:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de :p

hai tu agar mera dilbar

Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar

solid reason 4 having 2 girlfr

A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:
Monopoly is always damaging
and
Competition improves service!

this was a missed call

One day Raja and rani
decided to send messages
to each other by using
Pigeon instead of mobile.
The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message.
He angried and called to rani.
She told stupid ?This was a missed call?

yaad main aadhi ho gayi hon

Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein
15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?

Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao?

aaj k devdaas ki bat maano

Na pyar, na yaar, na mohabbat, na dosti yaro,

Aaj k devdaas ki bat mano,
na chandar mukhi na paaro,
bas har larki ko aankh maaro

can you define who is lecturer

Teacher To Student: Can You Define Who Is LECTURER? Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

sharif aadmi shadi k baad

Ek shareef admi shadi k bad apni B.V ko bola:
Aaj sey tum he meri ZINDAGI ho, PYAAR ho, TAMANNA hoo!

B.V:
aor aaj sey aap he mere leye
FARHAN hain, SAAD hain NOMAN hain

tamam hazraat se guzarish hai

Breaking News:
Tamam hazrat se Guzarish hai,
k Apni aurton or bachon ko ajkal T.V se Door rakhain
Q K, MuShRaf Kisi bhi waqat vardi utar Sakta hai

most important source of finan

Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting business?

Student: ?Father in law?.

gangsters son failed his exami

Q: What did the gangster?s son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.?

mere dost tanhai me na waqt bi

Mere dost tanhai me na waqt bitaya karo,
Kabhi kabhi mehfilon me bhi aaya karo,

Kiya hua jo toot gaye hen samney k 4 dant,
Phir bhi moun khol ker muskuraya karo..

biwi ka khoon aik hi hai

Doctor ne admi se pucha ?
Kia aap ka aur aapki biwi ka khoon aik hi hai?

Admi ne kaha..
Kiu nahi? Zarur hoga! Pachaas(50)
saal se mera hi khoon pi rahi hai na.

hum chat par charhe patang ura

Hum chat par charhe patang urane ke bahane,
Wo bhi chat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane,

Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye haseen nazara,
Jhadu le aayi wo bandar bhagane ke bahane.

pillow is like a true love

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

a girl and boy were sitting al

A girl and boy were sitting alone,
that boy started touching de girl,

Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.

Boy : ok call me when u r maried.

ticket checker to a saint

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don?t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram?s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna?a birth place, Jail.

a love letter from biscuit mak

A love letter from biscuit maker:
Dear marie, today is good day,
u r anmol for me?
but u have crackjacked my heart,
bcoz i have a little heart,
now i m in 50/50 position?

what gift you want for your bi

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.

similarity between dinosaurs a

Do u know similarity
between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
?
?
?
?
Both don?t exist.

dil ka dard dil torrne waley k

Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney,
Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,

Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main,
Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney

how you control your anger

Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you dont get annoyed,
how you control your anger?

son: i start cleaning the toilet
seat with your toothbrush

i want to share all your worri

Girl: When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It?s very kind of you,
darling, But I don?t have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that is because we aren?t married yet.

what is a girl friend

What is a girl friend?

Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies
and
division of friends.

i just feel u

I just feel u?.

Whenever I feel u?.
I just miss u ?..
Whenever i miss u ?.
I just wana See u ?.
Do u know why??.

It?s juts beacuse ????

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

terrorist hijacked 747 lawyers

Q: Hear about the terrorist
that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

A: He threatened to release one
every hour if his demands weren?t met.

i was sitting on daddys lap

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy?s lap.

sweets like me and nuts like y

Think positive?
Look at the world as 1 huge chocolate cake.
It would not be complete without
a few sweets and nuts.

Sweets like me and nuts like you!!!

girls r like phones

Girls are like phones.
We like to be held
and talked too-
but if u press the
wrong button
u?ll be disconnected!

can you define who is lecturer

Teacher To Student:

Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?

Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad
Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

door kahin ek basti thi

Door kahin ek basti thi,
Wahan churailain basti thein,
Un k andar bari masti thi,
Jab dekho wo hansti thin,
Tum jo itna hansti ho,
Usi basti ki lagti ho

what is the difference between

What is the difference between
Monkey and Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
and
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is urs??..:p

why do girls close their eyes

Question : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess?
Guess
.
.
.
Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.

how he got into the house

A man went to the Police Station wishing
to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.

?You?ll get your chance in court,? said the Police officer.

?No, no no!? said the man.
?I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I?ve been trying for years.?

mental hospital is not so far

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,

And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

couples hold hands during thei

Y do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It?s a formality just like two boxers
shaking hands before the fight begins!

girls of 1995 and 2007

GIRLZ OF 1995*
?AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM?

GIRLZ OF 2007*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM

any boyfriend before marriage

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent ??

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De?.

boy and girl in hotel

Boy : main last baar puchh raha hoon ,
tum mujhse shaadi karogi ??
Girl : Nahi
Boy : Soch Lo
Girl : Keh Diya na Nahi
Boy : Waiter , Bill alag-alag lana

positive thinking is like

Positive thinking is like?..
U r standing on the middle of the road???
and
suddenly a crow beats on your head?.
But you remain calm?
and thanks to God?
that cows dont fly:)

if u have 1 father call me

If u have 1 father, call me.
If u have 2 fathers, sms me.
If u have 3 fathers, mis call me.
If i m ur father, just ignore this message.

name one important thing

TEACHER: Arshad, name one important thing
we have today that we didn?t have ten years ago.

Arshad: Me!

thappar maarnay par naraz wife

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
?Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.?

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli ?Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti?

in art gallery couple sees pic

In art gallery couple sees
picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband keeps watching.

Wife: ab chalo gay ya PAT JHARR
ka intezar kertay raho gay.

chances of my recovering

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I?ve treated.The others all died.

which is important sun or the

Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we dont need it.

a man went to hell

A man went to hell and asked
the Yamraj if he can call his wife.
yamraj said ?u can do that?

after man spoke to his wife..
he asked how much to pay yamraj
yamraj said..?hell to hell is free?

aisa mujhe bajuwali kehti hai

I always think about U.
I can?t live without U.
I really need U.
I?m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I?m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.

Aisa mujhe bajuwali kehti hai?
(My neighbour say all this to me)

man on right and women on left

Q: Do u knw y in a couple?s photo
man is on d right side and woman on d left?
A: Coz as per balance sheet,Liabilities r on d
Left Side and Assets on d Right!

if ur world is spinning around

If ur world is spinning around
and
ur heart is beating fast..
Do u think its love?
?
?
?
Na Munna Na
it?s called High Blood Pressure:p.

i will kill u for free

i am a killer!

i kill poople for money,

i am a killer! i kill people for money,

but ur my friend, so i will kill u for free of cost.

chand to tum ho hi

Kash tumhare chere pe chicken-pox ke daag hote,
.
.
.
chand to tum ho hi,
sitaray bhi saath hote!!

1 boy went 2 meet his girlfrie

One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:D

1 memon road se guzar raha tha

1 memon road se guzar raha tha,
achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya
aur zoor se chillaya,
kameenaay log
poti b aesi kartai hen jaisay koi samoosa para ho..

pervaiz musharraf ka naam likh

Elahi aaj yeh farman likh de
har khusi sms perhne wale k naam likh de

Agar uski khushi k liye kisi ki jan chahiye
To us pe PERVAIZ MUSHARRAF ka naam likh de

tumse mil kar hogaya zindgi se

Tumse mil kar hogaya zindgi se pyar
Raah main chorr kar mat jana mere yaar
Bin tere hum ji na payenge
Tum na hoge to hum
BEWAQOOF
kisay banayenge:-)

the human brain is most thing

The human brain is most outstanding thing??.
it functions 24hrs 365 days?..
it functions right from the time u r Born?.
until you fall in love

past year performance repeated

Tom : How should I convey the
news to my father that I?ve failed?

David: You just send a telegram:
Result declared, past year?s performance repeated.

a person who surrenders when h

A person who surrenders when he?s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he?s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

difference between a woman and

What is the difference between
a woman and a magnet?

Magnets have a positive side!

i am the ninth letter

TEACHER: Kashif, give me a sentence starting with ?I?.
Kashif: I is ??

TEACHER: No, Kashif. Always say, ?I am.?
Kashif: All right? ?I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.?

hseenon ke galey mila karte th

Woh bhi kiya din the jub hum
haseenon ke galey mila karte the,

Ye un dinon ki baat hai
jub hum 2 saal ke hua kartey the

maa gaon mein fauji aaye hain

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

ghalibs girl friend late on da

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date per bulaya wo late aayi,
Girl: Am I late ?

Ghalib:
Falak pey chand sitaron ko neend aarahi hai,
Doosri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.

dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na

Dil k zakham kisi ko dikha na sako ge,
Dil mein jo he kisi ko bata na sako ge,

Karoo ge jawani me jo girlfriend pe kharche,
Budhape tak udhar chuka na sako gay:p

hum ho gaye tumhare tumhe soch

Hum ho gaye tumhare tumhe sochne k bad,
Ab na daikhen gay kisi ko tumhe daikhne k bad,

Dunya chor dain gai tumhai chorne k bad,
KHUDA! Maaf kare itne jhut bolne k bad

baap pe gaya hai thapar hi kha

Mom: Beta khana khayega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Ladu khaiyega??
Beta: Na
Mom: Mithai Khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom:ice creame khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega!

a man found his wife having af

A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself and his wife.

Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!

lagta hai pahunch gai

Aik hindu apni biwi ka antim sanskar
kar k ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki,

badal garje, zor se baarish shuru hui
dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

true bravery is to arrive home

True bravery is to arrive home ?
fully drunk..
a late night out..

and mom waiting with a jharu
in hand and you ask

?hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho.?

hadson ki waja say bachay

Kehte hain: Car mein aagay wali seat
par baccho ki vajah se HAADSE hote hain

Or peeche wali seat par
HADSON KI WAJA se bacche hote hain..

So, plz. Avoid CAR..

mominon ramadan qareeb hai

Momino!
RAMADAN Qareeb Hai..

Aap Sab Se Request Hai
K Apnain Mobile Me Save
Jokes,
Pics,
Girls No?s

Delete Karnai Se Pehle
Mujhey send Karen..

three ants find an elephant as

Three ants find an elephant asleep.
One says,?We?ll kill him!?
Other one says,?We?ll break his legs!?
3rd one says:
?choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!?:-)

1 larki mujh ko hans k dekh ra

A boy told his friend,
?yar aik larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai?.

Friend answered:
?Sahi se dekh,
hans k dekh rahi hai
ya
dekh k hans rahi hai :-)?

woh subah ki thandak

Woh subah ki thandak,
Woh toliye ki khushbu,
Woh shamp ki bottle,
Woh dhule howay kapron ka sakoon,
.
.
.
.
.
Tum kiya jano ye to sirf nahanay
wale hi jante hain:p

1 machar 1 chinese aur aik mem

Train main 1 machar 1 chinese k sar pe baitha,
woh usko pakar k kha gaya!

Phir 1 machar memon pe baitha,
us ne pakar k chinese say pocha:

teri tasveer bana dali or likh

Koray kaghaz pe likha tera naam hai,
Teri tasveer bana dali or likha ye pegham hai,

?Dimaghi tawazun theek nahi?
dhondnay wale ko 50,000 ka inaam hai

2 dost suicide kernay gayai

2 Dost Suicide kernay gayai,
Pahala : ?Hey Bhagwan mujhey
dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani
de Dukh de!?

Dusra dost : ?Abe tu maut maang
raha hai k Microsoft main Job.?

teri girl friend gaye bazar

twinkle Twinkle little star,
teri girl friend gaye bazar,

us ko mil gaya MAJNO ka pyar,
ab tu beth ker makhiyan maaar

mere dost se pyaar karti hai

Na woh inkaar karti hai,
Na woh ikraar karti hai,

Kambakhat mere hi sapnon main aa kar,
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai

importance of thumb

Importance of thumb?

Children use it 4 chewing

Illiterate people use it 4 sign

Winners 4 victory
.
.
AND
.
.
My FANS use it 4 reading my messages
.
.
.
.
.
Oh?.u toooo?

apne pyar ko mat chupao

Apne pyar ko mat chupao,
ise zarurat h jatane ki,

Apni khubsurti ko mat chupao,
ise zarurat h dikhane ki?

Ab aur PERFUME mat lagao,
tumhain zarurat h nahane ki

aaj maine 2 kasam khai hain

Aaj maine 2 qasam khai hain

1)Kisi bhi parayi larki pey nazar nahi dalunga
Aur
2) Kisi bhi ladki ko paraaya nahi samjhunga?.

1 ladki k saath ghoomay to

Sometimes wen i cry no 1 c my tears,
wen i m woried no 1 c my pain,
wen i m happy no 1 c my smile
lekin?
sala. 1 ladki k saath ghoomay
to sab dekh lete hai..

anso tumare niklein ankhein me

anso tumare niklein ankhein meri hon,
dil tumara dhadk dhadkane meri hon,
KHUDA KARE,
hamari dosti itni gahri ho,
K
naukri tum karo salary meri ho.

i wrote your name on my heart

I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.

I wrote your name on my heart and
i got Heart Attack.

boy mujh sy shadi karo gi

Boy: mujh sy shadi karo gi?
Girl: kyaa!

Boy: achi film hai na!!!
Girl: kutty k bachy.

Boy: WHAT????
Girl: kitny cute hotty hain na!

santa sing ka 20 saal bad bach

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

i am only a cartoonist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I?m only a cartoonist!

main tajmahal nahi mangta yaro

Muje JALA dena, ya DAFNA dena
marte waqt 1 ghoot BEAR pila dena ??..

Main TAJMAHAL nahi mangta yaro ???..
bas meri QABAR pe 1 GIRLs hostel bana dena?

yash johar is producing a new

Yash Johar is producing a new film,
And is searching 4 new talent.
I?ve suggested ur name.
Pls go and meet him.
The movie?s name is
?AQAL HO NA HO?

katori utha aur shuru ho ja

1.Allaha teri umar lambi karey
2.Allaha tujhy naukri de
3.Allaha tujhy khoush rakhe
4.Allaha tujhy barkat de

Yad ho gaya?
Aab chal ?KATORI? utha aur shuru ho ja.

do u want to hear a dirty joke

Do u want to hear a dirty joke?
.
.
.
Are you sure?
.
.
.
Ok, here you go?
.
.
.
A white horse fell in the mud

tuti hoi chappal say pitay ga

Boy : Jan-e-man!
Totay howay dil se pyaar karogi
ya
dil tootnay tak pyaar karogi?

Girl : Kameenay!
Tuti hoi chappal say pitay ga
ya
chappal tootnay tak pitega.

life ho to aisi

Life ho to aise?
Monday ko dosti,
Tuesday ko pyaar,
Wednesday ko mangni,
Thursday ko barat,
Friday ko fighting,
Satursday ko talaq,
Sunday ko rest,
Monday ko next.

girlfriend tells boyfriend in

girlfriend tells boyfriend in fanaa style

tere paiso ko mere purse mein panaah mil jaaye
mere ishq mein teri daulat fanaa ho jaaye

subhanallah! !!

wo larki kisi aur ne pata li

Woh gori hai uski zulfe hain kali,
Wo Pari hai ya Pariyo ki Rani,

Uski har baat hai nirali,
Par kya karu yaaro wo larki kisi aur ne pata li!

lab pay atee ha dua ban kay ta

Aishwaria Rai, Preety Zinta, Kareena Kapoor
in teenon main se kise ko hona ho ga maira zaroor

main janta hoon nahi ha itni ooqaat maire
lakin, lab pay aati ha dua ban kay tamana maire

bheje main bheja hi nahin bhej

GOD nay aap ko bheja to bheja,
Laikin bheja tu aisa bheja,
k bheje main bheja hi nahin bheja,
yeh SMS mujhey kisi nay bheja,
is liye main ne aap ko bheja

mombatti bujh nahin jayegi

1 night bijli chali gae?

PATHAN APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.

BiWI: kar di na phir pathano wali baat?
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi